The onion dating personals

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I am looking for an honest young woman for a long term relationship.

Please don't ask for money, i'm not a banker and I'm not interested in scammers that need to...

And you know what, the Onion kicked my profile off because I stated in there that I was taking myself off the online market out of frustration.

They said I was misreprenting myself, however that works, 'cause I thought I was being really really honest.

This is a list of people who tagged "the Onion" as an interest.

I am a: woman Looking for: a man Interested in: some type of relationship other than random sex Age: If you are under 38, please take your age and subtract 4. Religeon: Science Star Sign: I have difficulty understanding how anyone with half a brain can believe in astrology. Have children: No Want children: Yes, unless you don't, and then it's a maybe and I'll assume I can talk you into it later.

The folks at The Onion know this acutely, which accounts for several hilarious and poignant posts on the matter. So long as you find it online or otherwise, ain’t no thing.

Here are my five favorites: Having a cool “how we met” story is always fun and preferable to not having one, but even when you take online dating out of the equation, most people meet their spouse at work, school, a bar or through friends. Did you know there are thousands of dating sites out there?

That would make a pretty appealing dating profile, right?

Should probably throw in that you also enjoy fun…you know, just in case there is someone out there who doesn’t. Have you ever seen any real dating sites that seem so obscure you can’t imagine who would actually use them?

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