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Narcissists often believe, as my ex did, that everybody from past lovers to passing acquaintances is attracted to them.

If they see that somebody dislikes them, things get nasty, and they proceed to "punish" the person and dismiss their opinion. Narcissists will often come with a serious pattern of broken relationships and bad behavior, usually to do with infidelity.

When my ex was caught cheating on me and I told a few friends, the ex texted immediately — not to apologize, but to command that I stop spreading the news so as not to ruin their reputation. What people think of them, and the maintenance of the belief that they're superior, is pretty all-engrossing, and they will devote a lot of time and energy to it. At best, they find your emotions confusing, and want to make you feel better because that makes them the "perfect" partner; at worst, they view them as outright confronting and annoying.

If there was more to it—something serious—there would have been a discussion.

Casual dating is a marvelous way of getting to know all kinds of people, without having to feel tied down to anyone until you’re absolutely ready. That being said, it is important to remember that your dynamic with anyone, regardless of who it is, won’t be as intense or committed as in a serious relationship.

Serious relationships tend to be monogamous and long-term—or at least conducted with that intention in mind.

Dating a narcissist is basically a series of endless conversations where you express an opinion and they immediately jump on it.

(This is partially where the emotional abuse bit kicks in: in my case, my ex loved pulling apart my memories and challenging my view of reality, which is a technique called gaslighting.) Particularly if they believe they're intellectually superior, they get a kick out of dismantling your thoughts and showing off how smart they are. My ex once told me, "Of all the people I've ever taken classes with, yours is the only intellect I've ever respected." A truly spectacular compliment — and one I was bound, eventually, to fail to live up to. They think you might be perfect just like them, and want to impress you — but as it becomes clear you aren't, they become less and less interested.

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