Invalidating the self quotes about dating an army man
In this case, if you seem to have a need to invalidate your kids, they will say a bunch of stupid stuff just so you can keep doing it.In the case of the patient I just described, for instance, she would keep telling her mother, “I’m fine.The two concepts are not just similar to each other, they go hand in hand!This leads to the proposition that when family members seem to be invalidating another family member, the apparent invalidators may really be disqualifying themselves.Family systems pioneer Murray Bowen framed this as a conflict between the forces of individuality and the forces of togetherness.
One of the ways I learned about borderline family dynamics was when adult patients brought audiotapes of conversations with their parents on the phone when the parents did not know they were being recorded.If the daughter brought up something the mother had just said, the mother would accuse her daughter of living in the past! Parenting columnist John Rosemond alluded to this in a recent column."I have to wonder if (constant) parental concern is eventually self-fulfilling: as in, if you are concerned, then your child will give you something to be concerned about." I don't wonder about that at all; it is absolutely true.Invalidation, as used in psychology, is a term most associated with Dialectical Behavior Therapy and Marsha Linehan.As I described in my post on the family dynamics of borderline personality disorder, “Invalidating someone else is not merely disagreeing with something that the other person said.