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There are some relationships that seem to take enormous amounts of work yet yield little reward for the couple involved – in this case it may be over.
Percentage wise you should be happy in a relationship more than you are unhappy and be prepared to work at it when times get tough – this is how true intimacy develops.
The team has parsed its questions down to the really important aspects of attraction and compatibility.
Love isn’t a myth and neither is lasting happiness but how it manifests itself in your life will not necessarily look like it does in the movies – we wouldn’t appreciate the light if we didn’t know the dark.
Sometimes the myths about relationships can hold people back and stop them from believing their relationship is working. You need to have loads of common interests to have a good relationship The whole principle of e Harmony is based on compatibility, but don’t mistake this for similarity.
We want to help you to develop lasting relationships, built on solid foundations, rather than on a romantic fantasy of what a relationship ‘should’ be like. You can be compatible with someone who likes very different things from you – you can learn from, and complement each other, and both grow as a result as long as your interests and attitudes are not conflicting.
Problems arise when people expect their partner to be like their best friend – a partner will not necessarily be able to satisfy all your emotional needs so it is important that you have a social network so you don’t put too much pressure on the relationship. A happy couple will never fight All couples argue – it is a natural and healthy expression of needs and wants in a relationship and not necessarily a sign that there is something wrong.
While it is important that you are able to resolve conflict between you in a healthy, non-abusive way, this doesn’t necessarily mean that you will come to share the same beliefs and values – simply that you come to respect each others opinion. Someone else can make you happy While your life can be enriched by sharing it with someone else no-one can actually you happy – if you are a melancholy, pessimistic single person the chances are that you will still be that way in a relationship.